I loved college, all 10 years of it. And when it was over, I just had to keep it alive. So I wrote down every funny thing I could remember, the water fights in the dorm, the happy hours, the jail time. Great memories. The next thing I knew, I had 200+ pages of hilarious college humor that I just had to share.

I call it The Thing That Would Not Graduate. It's a tale of college humor that is guaranteed to make you laugh. And yes, I throw in some serious life lessons too.

And here are some funny quotes that have nothing to do with college humor, they're just profoundly dumb statements that will live forever.